my name is "judas", and i'm really just like you.
i don't know you, but you know me.
that's not me, and that isn't my brother.
i was born in 2006, in a cramped apartment in brooklyn, in which i was promptly dropped on my head as a child.
every short story contained wherein is a work of fiction and does not reflect the views or experiences of the author.
if anybody asks, everything i've ever written was satirical.
i'm the funniest comedian in the world. the only thing is, no one else is in on the joke.
and for the last time - if you have to ask, the answer is probably


goodbye cruel world...

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