tube fed television dinners
and she’s conjoined at the hip to her TV set
and your neighbors developed tits overnight
the world is oh so confusing
and i never would have loved you in a circumstance other than this
and i would have loved you under any circumstance other than this
and this was a love that was so hollow
but my god it was a love that felt so real

i just want
(the mexican one?)
to hear you laugh
one more time
we were boys
but i will never be a man
we are brothers
and i love you more than anything
but we are brothers
we are not twins
and no matter what happens we will always be separate

don’t get me wrong:
if i could i’d still hurl myself off that ledge for you

a bandage to compress parasitic tissue budding
a body is nothing if not something to be contained
god i wish i could say
i still see you the same way
we are 10 forever (if that matters) in my mind
if we had met 6 years later you surely would have killed me
and as soon as you met me
you knew you would forget me
but you will never leave my side

you’ll never be embraced more warmly
than you will be in the arms of a fascist.

i’m afraid that if i apply a tourniquet
to stop the blood from gushing forth
my inkwell will dry up
and i’ll never write again

f is for F-A-G-G-O-T
r is for R-E-Q-U-I-E-M and R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R M-E?
e is for ezekiel
e is for my best friend in the world
ezekiel raises the dead.
exhuming memories of when we united
in our disdain for those who were more different from us
than we were from each other

i am so grateful that everything bad in my life happened to me
because it happened
TO ME
NOT YOU.
and that’s the one thing that i can call my own.
say hello to the angels for me.
tell them i send my regards.